Friends Again
by Jlove32
Summary: He had said they should just be friends. Can Amy handle it? How is that supposed to work? And, most importantly, if they're "just friends" now, why does Amy feel like Sheldon's actions say I Love You now more than ever?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of The Big Bang Theory or the characters I'm writing about. Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady are the geniuses responsible for the greatness of TBBT and The Shamy. This work is intended only as an homage to our favorite couple, whatever their current relationships status.

 **Author's Note:** My hope, now that Sheldon and Amy are at least spending time together again, is that we'd get to see some of the New Sheldon in their interactions. I'm hoping that his feelings for Amy will shine through his actions, and rather than feeling like she has been sidelined to the Friend Zone, she'll see just how much he really cares for her.

My initial intent with this story was just to write a series of short shots of Sheldon showing his feelings through his actions, so you'll find some short chapters or sections here. But I'm already got a few chapters ready to go, and dang these crazy kids want to get back together so badly they seem to be prodding me to write more and more towards a reconciliation, so hang on, I think that's coming eventually in this story, too. Hope you enjoy the ride, whenever we eventually get there, in my FF and well as the show!

Thanks for taking the time to read my story and my ramblings, I'd love to get your feedback. Also feel free to PM me any other ideas you have for Sheldon showing his feelings even though they're "just friends." I'll see what I can do.

* * *

It happened slowly for Amy Farrah Fowler. For six months she had been without her sweet babboo, and for nearly six months she had wondered if she had made a mistake. It had all fallen apart so very quickly: flaring tempers on both sides, hurtful words, unspoken pain, lack of communication. How had they even gotten here? The only thing she knew for sure was that they had both screwed up; that was certain.

For nearly six months she had tried to convince herself that she really was better off without him, as people kept telling her. For six months she would find herself randomly thinking about him when she was alone, and it never failed to make her cry. Not once. It was a lie, she knew. Her life was not better without him. It was different for sure. It seemed like she had all the options in the world. She could go where she wanted, eat whatever food she wanted any night of the week, date whomever she wanted, kiss whomever she wanted, but good Lord, all she really wanted was him. She had denied it, argued against herself, listened as her friends offered all the reasons she should find someone else, sure that they were being helpful. She had nodded in agreement, even dated. Several times. But she had realized that no one and nothing measured up. She sighed heavily. She knew they had issues, and she knew they needed to work on some things, but no one, not one other person in the world could ever be to her what Sheldon was. They just fit.

Little by little she realized it. Whatever they needed to figure out, she wanted to do it together. She had said she needed to re-evaluate; well, she had and she had realized that the good in their relationship outweighed the bad, and in fact the good had only been getting better, and the bad less frequent. At the end of the day, isn't that what everyone in every relationship was shooting for? She thought so. The problem was, what to do now? There was such a chasm between them, how would she even go about starting a conversation with him? And, her heart hated to even ask, but what if he really had moved on without her? What then?

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

He had called her. Oh good gracious **he** had called **her**. He had offered her his 2 tickets to a holiday buffet at the aquarium, and she had done it. She had been bold enough to suggest they go together. _Oh my, oh my, oh my. This was good._ They would be able to see each other on neutral turf, so to speak. They could see each other and talk and just...be. _This was good. This was good, right?_

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Oh, the day had been more than good. It had been wonderful. It had been more than she could have hoped. Being with him, just as she had both hoped and feared it would, made her realize just how much she had missed him. Yes, he was it for her. She wanted him, not some idealized version of a man that other people told her she should hunt down. She knew he had enjoyed himself, too. That much was clear. And he was so sweet. He talked to her honestly, he complimented her. He had wanted to know her relationship status, though he had been too polite to ask at first (in fact, his demeanor surprised her...) and he had **really** , **really** wanted to know if she had had coitus with anyone. _That had to be a good sign that he still wants to be with me, right?_ Thank goodness the answer she could honestly give him was no. _As if I could have...I couldn't even handle a real kiss with someone else..._ Oh god help her, she loved him. She had known that of course, she wasn't that good at lying to herself, but maybe she had been good enough to hide just how **much** she still loved him, or maybe being with him today just made it that much stronger.

But then it had happened. She had impulsively told him she wanted to be his girlfriend again. It was true, but in retrospect, she probably shouldn't have done it that way. She just knew she didn't want to spend any more days without being joined to him, and she hadn't the sense to wait. **And he had said it.** He had said they should just be friends. _What?_ That's how this whole things started in the first place. Yes, she loved being his friend, but how was she supposed to go back to just that? _Oh it hurt._ Being without him had hurt, but how much more would being with him and not having him as hers hurt? _Why had he said that? Did he not love her anymore? He had said he didn't excel at getting over her. Did that mean he still loved her? Did that mean he was still trying to get over her? Did that mean he had finally succeeded in getting over her and didn't want to end up falling for her charms again? Oh yes, it already hurt much, much worse._ But she knew she would agree. She would rather have him as a friend than live without him in her life. She would just have to focus on all the fun, friend-like things they could do together. And maybe, just maybe there was something more there. _Maybe he still wanted to be with her, but like she felt for so long, maybe he was afraid of what that would mean. Hmmm, maybe what he meant was he was afraid to be with her, even though he wanted to, because he was afraid he would lose her again. Oh please let it mean that. Because that would mean that he loves me and there is hope. That would mean he just needs to know that I'm not going anywhere again._

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Being Sheldon's friend turned out to be both easier and harder than Amy had anticipated. It surprised her a little, and pleased her to no end to find that the two of them really could pick up their friendship almost as if no time had passed. They got along as well as ever, sharing jokes no one else got, playing round after rousing round of Counterfactuals (which no one else got either, of course).

There was one thing that really, truly surprised Amy, however. When she had finally decided she wanted to be with Sheldon again she thought she knew what she would be getting into. She knew him better than anyone else; she knew both his strengths and the challenges that came with being around him. She was ready to accept the difficult with the wonderful; some things they could work on together she was sure, but no more would she expect him to be someone he wasn't. She loved him for him, and that was that.

What she did not anticipate, however, was that the Sheldon that she was now "friends" with (she always thought of him making air quotes around the word, maybe just to convince herself there was still a chance for them to be more) was not the same man she had split from so abruptly 6 months before. Oh he was definitely still Sheldon. He was as smart, handsome and fun as ever. He was also clearly still proud and neurotic and sharp-witted. And yet, something had changed in him, that was sure. It was as if most of the rough, angular edges he used to possess had been sanded down. She didn't know how else to put it into words. Whether by the pain of loss, purposeful change or something else, his personality was somehow smoother. He was slower to respond with insults or derision to others, and more apt to pay attention to those around him. Very specifically, he had been nothing but wonderful to Amy since they had started talking again. Not one insensitive comment or mocking response had come out of his mouth. And though she kept repeating to herself _"We're just friends. Just friends."_ her heart warmed as she began noticing other signs that he had changed, grown maybe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of The Big Bang Theory or the characters I'm writing about. Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady are the geniuses responsible for the greatness of TBBT and The Shamy. This work is intended only as an homage to our favorite couple, whatever their current relationship status.

 **Author's Note:** So the first chapter was the setup, now we get into the good stuff. I can't imagine these two remaining "just friends" for long, so let's have fun with it while it lasts!

* * *

It did not take long for news of Sheldon and Amy's "friend" date to the aquarium to make it through their group and they were all relieved to hear of it. As a formerly tight-knit group the awkwardness of their split had been felt by all of them. The next Saturday night the gang was gathering at 4A for a belated pizza and Halo night, Raj and Howard having had to work several nights that week due to a particularly noteworthy astronomical event Raj was studying for which Howard had cooked up some cool new telescope add-ons for him to use. Penny had asked Sheldon if she could invite Amy to join them all and he had readily agreed. It would be her first time having dinner with the group since the breakup. When Amy arrived Leonard was just opening the pizza boxes and passing out plates. He and Penny were sharing his chair as usual, Raj sat on the floor and Howard and Bernadette were perched on the couch, the tiny blond occupying the seat that had only-too-recently been known as Amy's spot. As she entered the apartment and greeted everyone Leonard said "Hey, Howard, move down by Raj so Bernadette can scoot over and Amy can sit on the couch." However Penny, realizing that the exes seated next to each other might be a bit uncomfortable, jumped in with another solution.  
"Uh, Bernadette scoot down to the end of the couch, Howard move to the floor by Raj, Leonard grab your desk chair, I'll sit in the middle of the couch and Amy, you can have the armchair."

Before anyone could move Sheldon walked out from his bedroom, holding his laundry basket. "Good grief Penny, what's with the Chinese fire drill while everyone is trying to eat?"

"Oh, uh..." Penny stuttered. "Amy just needed a place to sit."

"Of course." He stopped walking and stood a few feet in front of her, his eyes meeting her with warmth. "Hello Amy." His smile made her knees weak. _He's so happy to see me._ "Just sit on the couch and get some pizza, I'll be back up after I start my laundry." Sheldon stood there continuing to smile at her, eyes fixed on her own.

"Um, o-okay..." Amy breathed, feeling everyone's eyes glued to her, the room so silent she was sure everyone could hear her pounding heart. The only seat left on the couch was Sheldon's spot, and NO ONE was allowed to sit there. EVER. Amy slowly took the few steps to the couch and lowered herself down onto it tentatively.

Sheldon nodded at her happily and turned to head out the door to the laundry room. The door clicked closed behind him. Howard was the first to speak. "What the hell?" Amy only shook her head, blushing furiously, her mind whirling.

"Ok…well everyone, remember the seats I gave you, because we're all going to have to switch around when he comes back" Penny admonished them.

But when Sheldon came back 10 minutes later he headed not for his spot, but for the fridge where he grabbed two bottles of water, snagging his desk chair on the way into the living room and settling it on the far side of the coffee table. He sat down in it, wordlessly handing one of the water bottles to Amy, who was too shocked to even thank him, before grabbing himself a plate and filling it with pizza.

"So, Amy, how was your day?" He asked before taking his first bite.

Everyone eventually roused from their stupor and the rest of dinner passed in companionable conversation. After the pizza had been consumed the girls stood up to head across the hall to Leonard and Penny's apartment while the guys turned on their game. Sheldon was in the kitchen taking care of the last of the plates when Raj decided to conduct an experiment. Sheldon turned back toward the living room just as Amy shut the door to 4A and she heard him exclaim loudly "Koothrapali, get out of my spot!"

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks in advance for your feedback, reviews are appreciated and spur me to write faster!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of The Big Bang Theory or the characters I'm writing about. Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady are the geniuses responsible for the greatness of TBBT and The Shamy. This work is intended only as an homage to our favorite couple, whatever their current relationship status.

* * *

Another week, and another group dinner at 4A. Amy was happier than she had been in months. Yes, being with Sheldon without being **with** Sheldon was tough, but spending time with everyone together again was so refreshing it was amazing. Then there was the fact that Sheldon was being so kind toward her. He had always been a gentleman of course (besides the stupid things that came out of his mouth so regularly in the past, that is), but lately he had been particularly solicitous. Each small gesture she noticed seemed like an unspoken I Love You from him, yet she tried not to get her hopes up.

Tonight Leonard would be picking Penny up from work as her company car was going in for routine maintenance, so Amy had offered to drive Sheldon home. The two of them would pick up dinner and meet everyone at Los Robles. At 5pm sharp Amy heard a familiar series of knocks on her lab door.

 _Knock knock knock...Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler  
Knock knock knock...Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler  
Knock knock knock...Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler_

"Come in, Sheldon" she smiled at the door as it opened. "Hello."

"Hello, Amy. Ready to go?" He could probably tell that she wasn't quite ready, as she still sat in front of a microscope wearing a lab coat and purple latex gloves.

"Actually, I'm sorry to make you wait, but my assistant dropped the last tray of slides I needed to analyze so I had to redo them; I was really hoping to finish this today so I can get the data analysis started on the computer and it can do the run overnight. Could you possibly wait like 15 or 20 mins? I'm really very sorry to make you late." She looked down as she spoke, biting her lip nervously; she knew how much he detested tardiness.

"Of course. I'm sorry you had to do extra work" he answered. His voice was gentle and when Amy looked up at him she noticed he was staring at her, his eyes soft, his expression unreadable. "I'll, um, wait for you in the cafeteria if that's ok. I'll…get a cup of tea." He offered her a small smile and turned to go.

"Ok, I'll see you soon" she replied to his retreating back, surprised he was so ok with her making them late. "Thank you, Sheldon." She returned her attention to the microscope.

"You're welcome. Um, Amy?"

"Yes?" She looked back up, watching him go.

"You look very pretty with your hair up like that." He said quietly, never turning around as he went out the door.

Amy took off one of her gloves and ran her hand over her ponytail, the same kind she wore every day in the lab. _Huh_.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

True to her word, Amy arrived at the deserted cafeteria exactly 17 minutes later. She had left her hair in the ponytail, rather than taking it down as she usually did as soon as the lab coat came off. She saw Sheldon sitting at a table, his back to her. lnstead of being on his iPad as she had expected, he was staring into space ahead of him, a cup of tea on the table next to him.

"Sheldon?" She said his name twice before he turned to looked at her. "Ready?"

"Oh, yes, let's go." He rose quickly, gathering his messenger bag and throwing away his untouched tea.

The first few minutes of the car ride where spent in silence, Sheldon still seeming to be lost in thought. Finally Amy asked "So, how was your day?"

Sheldon talked about a couple ideas he had been working on, without having made any progress, however. _Maybe that's why he seems distracted,_ Amy thought. He finished speaking and asked about her day. "How was your lunch with your new colleague?"

A visiting scientist had joined Amy's team for a 3 month stint and the whole lab had gone out together to welcome their new teammate. "It was good, though we went to Tandoori Alley, which is definitely not the best Indian food." She shrugged. "Speaking of food, why don't you call in the dinner order so we don't have to wait so long since we're already running late thanks to me."

"Good idea," he nodded. "What would you like for dinner?"

"What?" Amy asked, sure she had misheard.

"I asked what you would like for dinner?" Sheldon seemed confused by her question.

"Well...isn't it Thai night?" _Maybe he had change his schedule in the last six months?_

"Ordinarily, yes, it is Thai night. But since you had a curry-based cuisine for lunch I thought you might have another preference for dinner tonight. I wouldn't want you to make your digestive tract uncomfortable on my account."

"Oh. Ok." Truthfully, Thai hadn't sounded all that great to her tonight. "You really don't mind me picking something else?"

"Anything you want," he replied. As she stopped for a traffic light she chanced a glance over his way, but he was staring out the side window, chin resting on his balled up hand.

"Uh, Chinese?" Amy ventured.

"Sure." Sheldon pulled out his phone and started to dial. "The same order you, um, used to get?" he glanced at her now, meeting her eyes.

"Yes, please," she whispered, holding his gaze a moment before noticing the light was green and turning her attention back to the task at hand.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Couldn't you just die with the waiting for Shamy to be together again? I think the writers really have a great chance now for some emotionally-charged instances of almost-touches, longing gazes and eye coitus for the ages. Let's hope we get some great tension (for a very short time) followed by a passionate reconciliation. Shamy passion...mmm, time to daydream...off to write more! Reviews always appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of The Big Bang Theory or the characters I'm writing about. Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady are the geniuses responsible for the greatness of TBBT and The Shamy. This work is intended only as an homage to our favorite couple, whatever their current relationship status.

* * *

Sheldon looked up from his laptop in surprise at the knock on his office door; he wasn't expecting anyone. "Come in," he called out, slightly annoyed at being disturbed just when he finally seemed to be finding some focus on the paper he had been trying to write for weeks. His demeanor changed, however, when the door swung open to reveal a certain bespectacled brunette holding a bag of food and wearing a smile that made his stomach flip flop. "Hello, Amy. To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?" He rose to his feet as she entered the room like any good southern gentleman should. She closed the door behind her. _Oops, force of habit. Nothing private about our lunch dates anymore, I guess._

"Sheldon you hate surprises. Let's call it an unplanned lunch date. Uh, unplanned lunch." She held out the bag she was carrying. "Is now an ok time for you to eat?"

"Oh, is that sushi from Spinfish?" he asked gleefully. It was Sheldon's favorite sushi restaurant, but Amy knew Leonard grumbled about driving there very often as he thought Sushi Ichi was just as good and was far closer.

"Yes, it is. I wanted to thank you for being so nice the other night when I had to work late, and I know Leonard can be frustratingly unaccommodating when it comes to sushi selection, so I thought I'd pick some up for you for lunch."

"Well that was very thoughtful, thank you Dr. Fowler!" Sheldon's grin was reward enough for Amy, though she'd be lying if she said she didn't wish for a more personal kind of thanks. _Stop it Dr. Fowler, that way lies madness._ She stepped to his desk and set the bag down. "Well, enjoy your lunch, Dr. Cooper" she smiled, turning to leave the office.

"Wait, you're not staying to eat lunch with me?" Sheldon's voice sounded hurt. "Did you not get sushi for yourself?"

"Oh, um, I did," she gripped the bag containing her own lunch. "I just didn't want to assume you would want to eat lunch with me…I thought you might be busy." _Or just not want to spend too much time with me_ , she thought. Sheldon's insistence on being her friend without being more, coupled with the longing looks she had noticed from the corner of her eye a few times, plus his caring behavior, was throwing her completely for a loop. She had no idea what was going on.

"Amy, your company is most welcome at any time of the day." _Or night…_ that traitorous part of his mind he had been trying to ignore piped up yet again. _Good heavens, hush up now,_ he admonished, noting again that his internal monologue had taken on a Texas twang more and more recently. He sighed internally. This was so difficult, if only he could just... _Stop it Dr. Cooper, that way lies madness._

"Amy?" As he came back to himself, he realized Amy had not turned around; she was still facing his door.

"You…framed…you put up my covers?" her voice was surprised, incredulous even.

"What?" He was surprised by the change of topic.

"You framed my Neuron covers…" There, on the wall near his door, was a twin photo frame that held not only the cover of Neuron from years ago when he had disregarded her work before buying her a tiara as apology, but her latest Neuron cover, prominently displaying her name. _A cover that had come out a mere two months ago, well after she had left him._ _And…_ Amy let out a long breath through pursed lips and swallowed thickly, blinking hard before turning around to face him.

Sheldon met her eyes and they merely stared at each other for a long moment, each trying to master their own thoughts.

"Well, sure, it makes it easier to boast how brilliant my girl – my **good friend** Amy is." Sheldon's eyes widened in alarm as he spoke, hoping she hadn't heard his slip. Of course she had. She dropped her head to studiously inspect the floor, yet he saw her cheeks blossom in a becoming blush before she looked back up, avoiding his eyes. "So…lunch?" she asked with feigned brightness.

"Yes, lunch" Sheldon replied, with equally feigned calmness, reaching for the bag on his desk and motioning toward the empty chair across his desk for her to sit.

Neither of them mentioned the other frame on the wall just to the right of the Neuron covers. It was positioned so that the door when open, as it usually was when others visited Sheldon's office, would cover it, yet it would be visible to him as he sat alone in his office with the door closed as was his habit. This second frame contained their photo from prom.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of The Big Bang Theory or the characters I'm writing about. Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady are the geniuses responsible for the greatness of TBBT and The Shamy. This work is intended only as an homage to our favorite couple, whatever their current relationship status.

 **Author's Note:** TBBT just HAS to do something special for the Star Wars release, right? So I figured I had better, too. Let's see where the real fans are: keep track of how many Star Wars references you find.

* * *

It was almost time. Months, no nearly a year and a half of waiting, followed by 14 hours sitting on the sidewalk, and it was finally here. Today they would see the new Star Wars movie. Sheldon, Leonard, Raj and Howard were beside themselves with anticipation. Now all that remained was to pack up the folding chairs, stash them back in the car, check over their costumes one final time, and be joined by the ladies, who had ludicrously declared they were **not** spending an entire day sitting outside the theater just to make sure they had their first pick of seats for a movie they already had tickets to.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

 **2 WEEKS EARLIER**

"No, absolutely **not**."

"But Peeeennnnnnyyyyyy..." Leonard whined.

"I'm with Leonard, camping outside the theater before a big release is part of the experience!" Howard offered, casting a sidelong glance at his wife, knowing this would **never** in a million years work.

"Howie, you can be with Leonard all you want, us girls are going to sleep in, go to brunch then meet you at the theater before the movie starts. Right, ladies?"

They all quickly agreed.

"You're all party poopers," Raj declared morosely.

"So, does that mean no costumes, either?" Sheldon looked disappointed. If all the women were coming along at the risk of one of them talking over the movie making him miss a line (he was sure it would be Koothrapali's creepy girlfriend), the least they could do was look the part.

"Oh, hell no," Penny replied. Bernadette and Emily nodded vehemently. Amy gave no reply, something no one noticed. Her mind was going a mile a minute, formulating a plan. But would she have enough time?

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

 **PRESENT DAY**

Raj and Howard were just returning from depositing all the guys' folding chairs in the car when Emily, Bernie and Penny arrived, sauntering up to them casually in line as if everyone behind them hadn't been waiting more than half the day. Leonard adjusted his Luke Skywalker authentic replica lightsaber and gave a sheepish grin to the couple guys in line immediately behind them. Luckily for them, though, those 2 guys happened to be Captain Sweatpants and Dale from the comic book store, and both were too busy jealously gawking at the lovely ladies joining the costumed men at the head of the line to protest.

"Howard, have you been out here for 14 hours wearing that?" Emily asked curiously. Howard shifted awkwardly in his bulky Stormtrooper costume.

He shook his head, "Nah, I put it on when we dropped off the chairs." He pointedly avoided Sheldon's gaze while he spoke.

"The rest of us have taken our roles more seriously, however, and have been in costume the entire time I'll have you know," Sheldon puffed his chest out in pride, looking every bit as smug and confident as his alter ego Han Solo. It had been embarrassing to be seen with Wolowitz in street clothes all day when the rest of the line was appropriately dressed. Of course now there were three uncostumed women here making them stand out again. _Wait, three?_ "Where is Amy?"

"She left early from brunch, she said she had a hair appointment, then she'd meet us here," Penny answered with a shrug. Sheldon was confused. Amy got her hair trimmed exactly every six weeks, and had just done so two weeks ago. _Had she lied to the girls? Why would she do that? Where could she be?_ _ **Who could she be with?**_

"Sure, hair appointment..." Howard smirked. "Is that like when a girl says she has to wash her hair to avoid a date? She's not even Sheldon's girlfriend now and she's standing him up? At least our women showed up." Howard knew he was being mean, but Sheldon had been an ass to him all day because he wasn't wearing his costume yet, and sometimes old habits die hard.

A deep voice full of sarcasm came from behind them just then, putting Howard in his place: "Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?" Sheldon's breath caught in his throat. He knew that voice, but to hear it saying **that**... He slowly turned to see the speaker and his heart actually stopped beating. There stood Princess Leia herself, speaking with Amy's voice. The costume was the wrong one for the line she had spoken but he couldn't have cared less at that moment. There were no cinnamon roll buns, no bunchy white tunic. No, this was Leia in all her simple royal splendor. Her hair was intricately braided and wrapped at the back of her head, a long braid falling past her waist. Her off-white dress hugged her frame lightly, silver belt defining her feminine waist before the dress flared over rounded hips and fell to the floor where it afforded a peek of sensible, low-heeled silver shoes. Her graceful forearms, so rarely seen in her usual attire, were exposed by the gauzy sleeves when she moved and a simple silver bangle called attention to the delicate size of her wrists. The look was finished with a large chunky silver necklace, laying across the expanse of pale chest left bare by the scooped neckline, displaying just a hint of cleavage. Unless you were as tall of Sheldon, in which case, there was a bit more. She was beautiful, regal, covered as always, and sexy as hell. _Oh mercy._ Sheldon gulped.

"Ames, you look ah-mazing!" Penny gushed.

"Wow, those are SOME hair extensions" Bernadette chirped.

"No wonder you had to go to the salon, that looks fantastic!" Emily added.

Sheldon still hadn't spoken. Amy turned to look at him, hoping he'd be pleased. She had done this for him. She knew how much he enjoyed it when people got into character and he had seem genuinely disappointed when the girls had declared they were not wearing costumes. It was important to him, so it would be important to her. She wanted to show him. _Did he understand?_

One look at his eyes told her he did. And it told her a lot more.

Sheldon was completely out of control. The last time he had seen so much of her alluring skin he had had a panic attack. The feeling this time was only slightly different. This time he didn't feel panicked, exactly, he felt...needy. His mind was racing, his heart was pounding, his...body...was responding and he couldn't get a handle on any of it. To everyone else he just looked shocked, but Amy read it all. Well, most of it. Her own thought processes stalled at the point she saw his eyes rove from her braided crown, across every inch of her body to her silver clad toes and back up. Twice. _Hoo._

Their intense gaze was broken when Raj stepped between them. He was in perfect Lando Calrissian form, and didn't miss his chance, declaring to Amy "You look absolutely beautiful. You truly belong with us here among the clouds."

"Thank you." Amy replied with appropriate coolness.

Sheldon stepped back in between her and Raj, spitting his retort over his shoulder. "Koothrapali, pay attention to your own woman and her lack of inventive dress. Leave Amy alone."

 _Your own woman?_ Amy's heart skipped a beat. It almost felt like Sheldon was calling her his woman. _Of course in her heart she was, but he wouldn't admit it now. Right?_ Still, that had been kind of rude to Raj, and even Emily.

She leveled her gaze at Sheldon again. "You certainly have a way with people."

Sheldon smirked, before a thought chilled him to the bone. That was another quote. _Did she have more Star Wars quotes up her sleeve? Could he handle that?_ He cleared his throat. He still hadn't spoken to her. Their eyes, however, spoke volumes.

 _Who are you?_

 _Someone who loves you._

He had to say something.

"Amy, you look very...authentic." He smiled at her, breathing deep to steady his voice. "I never imagined you would dress up."

"Well, I guess you don't know everything about women yet," she winked at him before turning to respond to Leonard's compliment of her costume. _Dear heavens, yes she did know more quotes. He was in trouble._

"I got a bad feeling about this." he mumbled to himself.

Amy, in fact, had been studying. Unintentionally at first. In fact, she had watch all 3 original Star Wars movies a few times during their breakup. Just because she missed Sheldon and it made her feel closer to him. Especially the last month or so before their aquarium date when knew she wanted him back but wasn't sure where to begin. Even when he first made her watch Star Wars so long ago and she hadn't really enjoyed it she had appreciated the dynamic of Han and Leia, and she admired Leia's strong personality, so her selection was a no-brainer. She knew even without the aid of his eidetic memory that Sheldon would have had every line of the movies memorized, and she thought her being able to play along would please him. She had no idea how much.

At long last, it happened. The theater doors opened and they were allowed to enter. Sheldon practically ran into the theater, grabbing her hand to pull her along too giddy to even consider his actions. Amy went willingly, naturally. "Now I know where the acoustic sweet spot for this theater is typically, but given the fact that it will be a full house tonight, and with the distribution of costume materials I witnessed in line outside I've calculated that tonight it should be right...about...here," Sheldon exclaimed plopping down in a seat 2 rows further back and a few seats to the left of his usual spot. Amy fell into the spot next to him, noticing their hands were still joined.

"I hope you know what you're doing." Her eyes were on their joined hands.

"Yeah, me too."

A moment later, as their friends joined them in the row, he dropped her hand.

Their eyes, however, were locked until the previews began.

2 hours and 16 minutes. Every centimeter of Sheldon's body was on edge. His mind was electrified at getting to finally watch the movie, his senses were overwhelmed with Amy's closeness, his imagination was in overdrive thanks to her costume - _I can imagine quite a bit_. The fact that their hands had touched 11 times reaching for popcorn, and that she had snuck in Red Vines for him, remembering that this theater didn't carry them, didn't help.

After the movie the guys had planned to go back to 4A and dissect every second of the film until the wee hours of the morning. The ladies were heading to Howard and Bernadette's to have a slumber party and avoid that conversation at all costs.

The three couples embraced outside the theater. Sheldon and Amy stood off to the side, shifting uncomfortably as the others kissed for varying amounts of time.

"Well, your Highness, I guess this is it." It was easier for Sheldon to stay in character. Then he didn't have to think about the things he really wanted to say.

"That's right." Amy knew what he was doing. _She would give him the space to do it._

She turned to head towards her car, knowing the girls would follow when they were done.

"Amy?" She turned back around to look at him.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

They were still looking at each other when the girls came to her side.

 _I love you._

 _I know._

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

As the men walked towards the cars, Leonard joined in on the game, but he was actually glad to finally get a moment to talk to his best friend. He knew what Sheldon had been through and could only imagine what this new "friendship" was doing to him. He wanted to make sure he was alright.

"So, what do you think of her, Han?" he asked, smiling.

"I'm tryin' not to, kid." Sheldon sighed in return. _Easier said than done._

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The ladies stayed standing on the sidewalk. "Wow, that was intense."

"Yeah did you see how he looked at her, like all night?"

The other 3 girls watched Sheldon's retreating back with wonder.

Amy whispered to herself, "It's not over yet."

* * *

 **A/N:** I thought it would be fun to move the story along AND have a little homage to Star Wars. So? How many references did you get?

There were 18 lines from the original franchise. Did you catch them all?


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of The Big Bang Theory or the characters I'm writing about. Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady are the geniuses responsible for the greatness of TBBT and The Shamy. This work is intended only as an homage to our favorite couple, whatever their current relationship status.

* * *

The guys were in 4A having a rousing round of Punchout on Vintage Video Game Night while the ladies enjoyed Girls' Night across the hall. Sheldon's keen ears heard Amy's voice in the hall as Penny opened her door. He wasn't playing anyway at the moment and took the opportunity to slip over to the door and catch her before she descended the stairs.

"Good evening Amy," he said pleasantly. "I hope you enjoyed your hen party? You didn't have too much wine to be driving yourself home, did you?"

"Good evening to you too, Sheldon," she replied smiling with only the barest hint of exasperation. "And no, I only had one glass of wine hours ago. If chocolate could intoxicate I might have to worry about driving home, but as far as alcohol goes, I'm good."

"Ok, good then." They stood smiling at each other a moment. Sheldon looked down at his shuffling feet, uncharacteristically nervous. "Um, Amy, if you're available I'd like to come to your apartment on the afternoon of the 23rd to give you your Christmas gift."

Amy was surprised for multiple reasons. _He had bought her a Christmas gift?_ Sheldon hated giving and receiving gifts, and in the past had been none too fond of Christmas itself. Sure, he would give gifts when obligated, but he was bringing this up himself. _And why would he have to come to her apartment to give it to her?_

"Uh, I think that's fine," Amy started, "But why the 23rd at my apartment? Penny said everyone is getting together at your place on Christmas eve." _Did he not want her to come over?_

"Yes," Sheldon confirmed, "but I had to schedule delivery of your gift and they were most unwilling to do it on the 24th for some reason," he rolled his eyes. Amy tried not to snicker. _Yes, for some reason. Oh, Sheldon._ "Besides, I suppose I don't know how the delivery men would get it up here, nor how we would get it back to your apartment if they did."

Amy agreed to the 23rd, intrigued. _What in the world did that mean?_

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Sheldon arrived the afternoon of Dec 23rd looking dashingly handsome in what Amy figured she would always think of as Date Night clothes. Not that she got Date Nights anymore, she reminded herself, heart aching. She welcomed him into her apartment where she offered him strawberry Quik, which he happily accepted. Instead of sitting on the couch like she had thought he would, Sheldon wandered over to her Christmas tree and began looking at the ornaments. He noticed a number of small red and white patterned hearts amongst the decorations. "Are these from Norway?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, smiling, "I bought them there when I did my semester abroad."

Amy had thought briefly about not even putting up a tree this year. She hadn't really felt like celebrating when she had pulled out her box of decorations the week after Thanksgiving. It had only served to remind her how giddy she had been to decorate for her Victorian Xmas party last year, and what a beautiful night that was. Now everything was different, of course. She and Sheldon were "just friends" now, after all, however that was supposed to work. But after shutting the lid on that particular pity party she had briefly indulged in, she reminded herself that was still better than not having him in her life at all, and she had gone and bought a small tree. Alone. At the same lot they had gone to together the year before, trying to avoid looking at the infamous mistletoe.

But now that he was standing in her apartment, admiring that tree, she was glad she had. He had never asked about her decorations before, and she was enjoying sharing them with him. He had just asked her about an antique-looking silver star that had actually belonged to her grandmother when there was a series of quick raps on the door. Amy opened it to find two delivery men with a hand truck and an enormous wooden crate like something out of a movie. She had to sign a slip of paper, then they wheeled the crate inside and stood it up in front of her couch. Sheldon tipped the men and let them out while Amy stood staring at the crate, mouth agape.

"Sheldon, this crate is bigger than I am! What on earth is it?"

"Why don't you open it and find out?" he asked, smiling a strange little smile, then crossing the room to his messenger bag where he retrieved a small crowbar.

The two of them worked together to open the crate, following the instructions printed on it. _It really is like something out of a movie_ , Amy mused again. Sheldon finally pulled the lid off to expose a ton of shredded packing material. "Go on," Sheldon motioned to her, crossing to her kitchen and returning with a trash bag. Amy began pulling out the packing material while Sheldon bagged it all up neatly. _Of course_ , she smiled. Under all the shredded material was something very large wrapped in layers and layers of bubble wrap. Amy leaned close to try to ascertain what was inside. She suddenly spied something that caused her to gasp and step back quickly, eyes zeroing in on Sheldon.

"You **didn't**!" She managed to croak out.

Sheldon only offered her a sheepish smile.

" **Sheldon** , you-did-not! Oh my goodness, oh my goodness..." Amy looked as though she might pass out. She took two stumbling steps to the couch and sank heavily onto it. "You got me a real skeleton?"

Sheldon merely nodded, his smile bright. He didn't trust himself to speak. _She loves it. I'm so glad she loves it. I knew she would love it._ He felt the prickle of tears behind his eyes and blinked hard.

"Sheldon..." It came out as a sigh. Amy's voice was like a caress, and his chest tightened to hear it. She gave him a soul-searing gaze, her own eyes full of tears. "Sheldon, I - I can't accept this. It's too much, and - and we're not even..." she trailed off, drawing in a deep breath through her nose and looking at her lap, fighting to keep the tears from falling.

"Well, I certainly can't return it," Sheldon began. "And if you're worried about the reciprocal value of the gift, don't be. I didn't have to pay for it."

"What?" Amy's surprise helped her rein in her emotions. "What do you mean? How did you get it?"

He came and sat down next to her on the couch. _Too far away._ "UCLA has been after me for some time to come give a lecture there. Dr. Gablehauser and President Siebert both thought it was a great idea to build cross-institutional unity or some such nonsense, so I've had to fight them off about it for some time. I merely contacted the UCLA Physics department and told them I would acquiesce to their request, but my stipulation was that they agree to provide me with a human skeleton from the Cadaver Lab as recompense." Sheldon shrugged his shoulders.

Amy's heartbeat quickened as she heard his explanation. "Sheldon, you hate giving lectures, you hate new places, you hate crowded rooms...and you're and giving a lecture there for this? **For me**?"

"Six, actually," he mumbled, looking down.

"What?" Amy asked, still gaping at him.

Sheldon cleared his throat and met her eyes. "Their bargain back to me after hearing my request was that I give six lectures there, on a variety of topics, targeted to their faculty, graduate students and - " he wrinkled his nose in distaste " - undergrads."

"Oh Sheldon..." Amy sighed again, eyes soft and so full of love he could scarcely bear to hold her gaze. "Thank you..." she managed, her voice strangled. They sat looking at one another for another moment, neither moving, before Sheldon stood up abruptly. "I'll help you get this unwrapped and set up before I go." His voice was nonchalant, but his knees felt unsteady as he made his way to the crate.

Unwrapping the skeleton turned out to be quite a chore, actually. It was quite heavy and they took turns holding onto it while the other gingerly unrolled sheet after sheet of bubble wrap snaked around each bit of it in every conceivable direction, being careful to not pull on any joints as they did so. It was nearly an hour before they had finished and both were tired from the exertion, and from dragging the wooden crate out into the hallway, as the delivery men were to return to haul it away that night.

They moved the skeleton and its stand into its final position in the corner of Amy's living room and her grin at seeing it there could have lit up half of Pasadena, Sheldon thought. He found himself staring at her profile as she gazed at it fondly, rocking slightly on the balls of her feet out of excitement. _She's so lovely._ He thought about all the time he had wasted not just looking at her like this, appreciating what was right beside him, and now he found himself all too often sneaking glances. He sighed internally. _I had better get going._ "Well, goodnight. I'm glad you like it so much." He said, turning to head for the door.

"Wait," Amy's voice came out too sharp as she quickly crossed to where he stood, hand on her doorknob. "Wait," she said again, much softer. She looked up and met his eyes before sliding her arms around his waist and laying her head on his chest. "Thank you Sheldon. Thank you so much." She wanted to say more; thank you didn't seem to be enough, but she was lost in him. The smell of talc, the familiar sound of his heartbeat beneath her ear, his long arms which had come up seemingly automatically to wrap around her back as she had stepped into him. It was all too much.

 _You're welcome._ It was what Sheldon wanted to say, what he had in fact intended to say. But when he opened his mouth no sound came out. Instead as he opened his mouth to speak, his throat closed. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath, his nostrils instantly filling with the familiar and delicious scent of her hair, her soap, her. It was the first time in six months that he had held her and it felt so right. _Yes_ , he thought, _held was the right word_ , as this went on far longer than a simple hug had any business doing. Sheldon allowed himself to rest his chin on her head and close his eyes for the merest of moments, steadying his breathing. Then he reached his arms around behind his back, taking her hands and gently guiding them back down to her own sides. "Merry Christmas, Amy Farrah Fowler," he whispered, placing a light kiss on her forehead and slipping out the door before she could respond.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Did anyone guess what Sheldon's gift to Amy was before she realized it?


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of The Big Bang Theory or the characters I'm writing about. Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady are the geniuses responsible for the greatness of TBBT and The Shamy. This work is intended only as an homage to our favorite couple, whatever their current relationship status.

 **Author's Note:** Recent developments not withstanding, the story goes on!

* * *

 _Tick tick tick_

"Ha, I win! That's two in a row Dr. Cooper!" Amy laughed with glee while collecting the Nobel Prize token in the new expanded edition of Research Lab. It was New Year's Eve and while their friends all made plans to spend the nights with their significant others, Sheldon and Amy had decided to make it Good Friend Board Game Night at her apartment. Sheldon had brought over the latest edition of his self-made board game; however the night had not exactly gone his way.

"How could I have gotten the nuclear meltdown card two games in a row without getting any silicon carbide coating or graphite sphere cards to combat the uranium leak? I may have to double-check the card probabilities in this new expansion set…" Sheldon grumbled.

Amy smirked at him as she returned to the couch proffering a peace-offering bottle of YooHoo. "Maybe you've met your match Dr. Cooper. Or, maybe you don't excel at everything after all," she joked, not noticing how his eyes had followed her to the kitchen and back, or lingered on her all evening whenever she was looking elsewhere. Sheldon was in a dark mood, and not just from the game.

 _Tick tick tick_

Ever since their embrace when the skeleton had been delivered his emotions had been running roughshod over his intellect. He had thought he could control this, he had thought he could appreciate Amy and her brilliant mind without needing the rest. _It was the rest that had the power to hurt, the power to strip him bare and leave him gasping for breath, right?_ _Oh, how wrong he had been._ It wasn't just a part of her that could cause him to come undone. _It was her. Any and every facet of who she was._ And he had no idea what to do about it now.

 _Tick tick tick_

It was 10:30pm. All Sheldon had been able to think about all night was the clock. _At midnight you were supposed to kiss the one you loved. But he couldn't. Shouldn't. Wouldn't. He wouldn't, right?_

 _Tick tick tick_

"I'm well aware I don't excel at everything, Amy. Only most things. For example, I'm terrible at sports, driving still scares me and of course I was a bad boyfriend," he sighed in a rare moment of self-flagellation. It was the 3rd time since they had become "friends" again that Sheldon had made an offhand comment of this type about his inadequacies as a boyfriend. The first had taken her completely by surprise and so she had said nothing. The second was at dinner with the whole group and she couldn't see how to discuss it. This time, though, they were alone. And Amy had had enough.

"Sheldon?" At the sound of her voice his head raised and he met her eyes. "Where did you get that idea?"

"Amy," he said "everyone knew it, I was just too self-absorbed to see it."

"Sheldon, you were not a bad boyfriend." Her voice was firm.

"Yes, I was. I was self-centered and callous, I withheld affection from you, and didn't treat you like I should have. I can see it now. I was too busy pretending I was above it all and didn't need feelings, didn't need **you** ," he sighed. Amy sat motionless, silent, listening with rapt attention. "I'm…I'm not like that anymore. Even though we're only friends now, I want to make it up to you. I'm sorry for the past. I'm sorry I'm such a difficult person. Thank you for putting up with me as long as you did. I didn't deserve you. You were right to leave to find someone better than me." He looked down, his countenance dejected. _He wanted her, and he knew she wanted him. But he didn't know that he could be enough, and he couldn't lose her again. It was so much harder than he had anticipated. But it had to be this way. It was better this way, right?_

 _Tick tick tick_

Amy hated seeing him like this. She had to make him understand. "Sheldon, yes, I know I said I found you...challenging at times...but you were **not** a bad boyfriend. We had so much fun together, you made me feel more loved than anyone else ever has. Our relationship took you by surprise, it did me too. It was unexpected, but you were in it, you changed so much for me, for **us**."

"Yes, well clearly not enough…" it was only a whisper, but she heard it.

Amy took a deep breath. She had tried. She had given him the distance of friendship that he had requested. She had not brought up their failed relationship. She had not told him how much she still loved him, how she desperately wanted to be with him. She had tried, but clearly this was not working. She could read so much he wasn't saying and by now she was sure he still loved her, no matter what he said about them being "friends." _Maybe it was time to lay all her cards on the table._ She only hoped he wouldn't try to bluff his way out of the game again this time.

"Sheldon, do you remember when we went to the aquarium and I told you I had dated 6 different men?"

"I remember." His tone was even but she noticed his jaw clenched tightly after he spoke.

"I never got past a first date with 5 of them; they just didn't interest me at all. And do you know the only reason I saw the other man more than once was that he kind of reminded me of you? And then later, he really **really** reminded me of you..." she muttered, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that - "

"Is that why you kissed him?" Sheldon couldn't stop the words before they tumbled out of his mouth. In that moment he knew: despite his earlier promise, if he ever invented time travel he would **not** go directly to the day he met Leonard, he would instead return to **this** day, 35 seconds ago and crack himself over the head before he could ask that question. He knew he had no business asking it, but even more he really didn't want to know the answer, really didn't want to think about it ever again, in fact.

Amy's eyes grew wide. She had not even told Penny and Bernadette that she had kissed Dave. _How could he possibly have known that? Had she told him? No, no she definitely hadn't told him. Dave had been obsessed with Sheldon...had_ _ **he**_ _found him and told him? Oh boy_..."Um...Sheldon, how do you know about that?" she ventured tentatively.

"I...uh..." Sheldon stammered before dropping his head, unable to meet her eyes. His shoulders slumped. "I was there" he finally admitted.

"You were where?" Amy asked him, thoroughly confused.

"Outside your apartment building" his answer was a whisper. She could see his downcast eyes from the side, and saw the tears.

"Oh god..." she panted, feeling like all the air had left her lungs. Her hand flew up to cover her mouth as her own eyes filled with tears that that immediately spilled over. "You were there…you...you saw?" Her heartbeat ran wild in her chest. Time slowed for Amy. She knew it had been only the briefest of kisses. Chaste, in fact. But her mind realized how she would feel had she had to see Sheldon kiss another woman, no matter what kind of kiss. She then thought of everything she knew of Sheldon and what that must have done to him. She remembered every time she had pushed him for intimacy, every time he had acquiesced, and every time he hadn't. She knew from the weeks he was relentlessly pursuing her just after the breakup that he thought she had left him to immediately find someone else to be intimate with. She had told him that was not the case, but then he had seen her kissing someone else. Yes, she knew how she would feel if the roles were reversed - even having been the one to call it off she would feel like someone was ripping her heart out. She couldn't begin to imagine what it had done to Sheldon.

Sheldon's voice pulled her out of her musings. "Before you jump to any conclusions, I wasn't following you. I was coming to..." he swallowed hard. "I was just coming to talk to you. And there you were..."

"Sheldon, nothing else happened - "

He rose from the couch. "You don't owe me an explanation." He had already picked up his windbreaker and was reaching for his messenger bag.

"You're right, I don't owe you an explanation, but I **want** to give you one. Please, look at me Sheldon" she implored him.

He froze for a moment, as if weighing his choices. "Please" she asked again, urgently.

 _Tick tick tick_

He set his jacket back down and slowly turned around toward her, taking the two steps back to the couch before looking up to meet her eyes.

"Please, sit." He complied. "Sheldon, what you saw was **all** that happened between he and I, and that was the **only** time it happened. You just apparently have really, really horrendous timing. I never so much as held hands with anyone else on any other date."

"Ok" he replied, looking down again, unsure what else to say. _She didn't need to tell him this. He didn't need to consider what this meant. They were just friends, right?_

 _Tick tick tick_

She just wanted him to look at her so without thinking she reached out and lifted his chin with her fingertips, noticing him stiffen the instant she touched him. _Oh no, is my touch uncomfortable to him now? Has so much changed?_ "Sheldon, please believe me. I want you to know this, because the reason I could not be with anyone else is that I realized I only want to be with you. I love you, and only you. I know we're just friends now, I realize you...you don't feel that way about me anymore," Amy took a shuddering breath, "but you should know that I didn't ask for a break because you weren't enough and I wanted to run out and find someone else. You were enough, we were enough Sheldon. I realize that now."

"Then why? Why did you ask for the break?" There, he had finally asked. For better or worse, he had asked.

 _Tick tick tick_

Amy sighed deeply before answering. "Honestly, I feel like I hardly know anymore. I guess...we had been together a long time, Sheldon, and our relationship didn't seem to be going anywhere. I realized how much I loved you, but I didn't think you felt the same way. I realized what I wanted more than anything was to be with you for the rest of my life, and yes, that included physical intimacy, but wasn't the main factor. I didn't think you felt that way about me. I was afraid of spending the rest of my life wondering how you really felt and if we would ever move forward or if you would just leave again. I had been weighing the future for a while, and your comment about The Flash was just the last straw. I thought that if even our anniversary meant nothing to you, wasn't worth celebrating, then our relationship must not mean as much to you as me."

Sheldon stared at her. _She could not possibly have been more wrong._ "Amy, that is not true, our anniversary meant a great deal to me, too. You have no idea how I felt that night. What I was going to... How much I..." His eyes were wide and wet, staring into hers. She saw so much raw emotion in them, she was unable to name even half the feelings reflected back at her. The intensity of the moment overwhelmed her.

She waited for him to continue, hardly daring to breathe. He hadn't opened up to her at all until now. _Please, Sheldon, please, talk to me…_

 _Tick tick tick_

He rose abruptly, hands raking back and forth over his hair. He took two quick steps away from the couch before turning around taking two in the other direction, pacing a tight circle, his eyes now on the floor. "I can't…I can't do this. I'm sorry. I can't…" and like that he was gone, leaving Amy sitting alone on her couch staring at the open door.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I think we've got one more chapter to go. Hang tight!


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of The Big Bang Theory or the characters I'm writing about. Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady are the geniuses responsible for the greatness of TBBT and The Shamy. This work is intended only as an homage to our favorite couple, whatever their current relationship status.

* * *

 _Sheldon stared at her. She could not possibly have been more wrong. "Amy, that is not true, our anniversary meant a great deal to me, too. You have no idea how I felt that night. What I was going to... How much I..." His eyes were wide and wet, staring into hers. She saw so much raw emotion in them, she was unable to name even half the feelings reflected back at her. The intensity of the moment overwhelmed her._

 _She waited for him to continue, hardly daring to breathe. He hadn't opened up to her at all until now. Please, Sheldon, please, talk to me…_

 _Tick tick tick_

 _He rose abruptly, hands raking back and forth over his hair. He took two quick steps from away from the couch before turning around taking two in the other direction, pacing a tight circle, his eyes now on the floor. "I can't…I can't do this. I'm sorry. I can't…" and like that he was gone, leaving Amy sitting alone on her couch staring at the open door._

* * *

Amy sat on the couch for several minutes, too stunned to move. _He had left._ They had been so close, she had put everything on the line, he had been so honest, she had been so sure… _and he had left._ She didn't cry; _that had already been done_. She just felt…numb. Would she now lose this tenuous friendship they were rebuilding, too? How could they ever go back to the ease from earlier tonight after what had just happened? Had she lost him… **again**?

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Sheldon made it as far as the elevator, pressing the button with far more force than was required before he leaned back on the wall and tried to steady his breathing. It didn't work. He slid down the wall until his behind hit the floor. He buried his face in his hands and tried to hold back the tidal wave attempting to burst from his chest. He was not going to do this. He would not cry sitting on this dirty floor in his ex-girlfriend's apartment building. He was Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper and he was stronger than this. Seven months. It had been SEVEN MONTHS. He was so angry with himself. How had it come to this? What had he been thinking? "Let's be friends." _Yes, clearly that was a great idea._ He scoffed at his naiveté. There was no way in the world he and Amy Farrah Fowler could remain friends. He knew what he had to do.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

At long last Amy rose on unsteady legs and closed her apartment door. She turned the deadbolt and leaned against the door, unsure if she could even make it back to the couch. And then it happened.

 _Knock knock knock…Amy_

 _Knock knock knock…Amy_

 _Knock knock knock…Amy_

Her breath caught in her throat; _ok, just maybe she had been on the verge of tears, after all._ She threw the door open to find Sheldon, eyes glassy and full of pain. He didn't even speak before grabbing her and pulling her into a tight embrace, nearly knocking her off her feet. He held her close, one arm at her back, the other on the back of her head, cradling it to his chest. He was shaking. Amy felt the world spin away from her; she thought she might pass out. Neither spoke for a long moment. He softened his hold on her head and she craned her neck up to look at him. Sheldon's eyes met hers before he bowed his head and spoke into her ear, his lips brushing the outer shell, his breath making her shiver.

"Seven months ago I watched you walk out my door, and it almost destroyed me. Amy, I'm so sorry I walked out this door tonight. I don't want either of us ever walking away again. **Please**." He pleaded, the last word more sob that speech. She wrapped her arms tightly around him as he buried his face in her neck, his body wracked by all the emotion he had not shown her. She soon found her own frame trembling in response. They clung to each other, their embrace the only thing keeping them both upright.

"Sheldon, I'm so sorry," Amy managed finally.

"No, _I'm_ the one who is sorry. Amy, you had every reason to think I didn't care for you as much as you cared for me. I was unwilling to show you how I really felt, because I was uncomfortable with it. It's not an excuse, it doesn't make it ok, but I spent most of my life pretending I didn't have feelings, then you came along and there were so many...I just didn't know how to handle it. I'm a genius, Amy, but I was stupid," he kissed her forehead tenderly, "I was so stupid." Another kiss. "I can't do it. I love you, Amy. I've tried not to love you anymore. Everyone told me I had to get over you, I had to move on, I had to let you go and let you be happy with someone else. But I can't." He pressed his forehead to hers, chest heaving.

"Sheldon, I don't want you to. I told you, I don't want anyone else. I want **you**. **I love you**."

 _It was too good to be true. He had done nothing in his life to deserve this woman before him._ "I love you, too. I love you so much, Amy." His voice shook, "But I can't lose you again."

"I'm not going anywhere."

His pulled back slightly, eyes searching hers, his gaze deep and penetrating. She felt herself holding her breath as they bored into her soul. His right hand slid up to cup her left cheek and he held her there for a moment. No words were spoken but volumes were said before his hand slipped around to the back of her neck, fingers entwined in her hair as he pulled her to him, his lips pressing to hers tenderly. Awash in sensation she felt him sigh her name against her lips more than she heard it. "Amy…" Then his mouth opened and she was engulfed by his love. His left arm wrapped around her waist, drawing their bodies flush. His lips were insistent, pressing, molding around hers, his tongue slipping out to trace the junction of her own lips, still together. It was the most erotic feeling Amy had ever experienced. The electric sensation caused her to gasp and her mouth welcomed his tongue. He pulled her tightly against him, desperate to feel every inch of her, needing to convince himself that she was real, that this was real.

Amy was putty in his hands. _So much passion. I never knew how much passion. How did I not know?_ He maneuvered them to her couch, sitting down and pulling her onto his lap. Her hands found their way to his shoulders, his chest, his biceps, her nails ran through his hair.

Sheldon's hands likewise were everywhere, like he needed to map every inch of her form. _Oh god I never knew it could feel like this. I never knew_ _ **she**_ _felt like this. How did I not know?_

It felt like hours or maybe only seconds later before another word was spoken. Sheldon had just trailed a line of kisses up the side of Amy's neck from her collar bone to her earlobe, drawing a moan from her lips. They were lying across her small couch now, his body covering hers, and her chest arched upwards under him automatically as his mouth traced its path. He kissed the spot just behind her earlobe before he spoke. "Amy, I need you, please let me stay with you tonight." Her eyes flew open, finding his in the half-light.

"You want to stay here? With me? In, um, in my bed?"

"Yes, please," he ran the back of his hand down the side of her face, gazing into her eyes. She was momentarily torn. She wanted him to stay, would be happy to never be parted from him again, but if he meant… _oh god, she could hardly finish the thought_ …she wondered if they would regret rushing into it.

Sheldon saw the indecision flash across her face. "Amy, we don't have to…do more tonight…I just need to feel you with me, I need to hold you. I want to wake up with you in my arms. I just can't leave you now." He turned slightly sideways against the back of the couch, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her tight against him, laying her head against his chest.

"Ok. Stay with me, Sheldon." She breathed, the words feeling foreign, and wonderful, and scary and freeing all at once. She slowly slid from his arms and stood next to the couch, holding out her hand to him. He rose and took it. "Let's go to bed."

 _Tick tick tick_

It was midnight, but neither of them noticed.

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 **Author's Note:** Thank you for reading and for taking the time to leave such lovely comments. Your participation inspires me to write. Please let me know how you feel about the end.

And to my dear anonymous reviewer who was concerned that this was another story "where Sheldon abandons Amy again," as you can see he didn't get far. I don't think Sheldon will ever be able to be far from Amy again. :-)


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of The Big Bang Theory or the characters I'm writing about. Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady are the geniuses responsible for the greatness of TBBT and The Shamy. This work is intended only as an homage to our favorite couple, whatever their current relationship status.

 **Author's Note:** Ok, I had really intended to end the story at the last chapter. But so many wonderful reviewers asked if there might be one more chapter and I realized there was. (See, it's true, reviewing really does help!) I was excited to find one more little snippet that's been in my head for a while that I thought fit well here. This is an epilogue of sorts, you'll see. It is unashamedly fluffy Shamy. I think we all deserve some of that right now, don't you?

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"Correct," she said.

"Of course I am," Sheldon stated simply.

Amy rolled her eyes at him, but he was right, they both exceled at Counterfactuals. "I'm so glad you suggested we play this tonight Sheldon, it has been ages. I had such a great time making up new cards for you…and yet you've managed to correctly answer them all, of course." She gazed at him happily for a moment before reaching for one of the new cards he had made for her.

"In a world where dogs are capable of reading and yet are still the most popular pet, what delectable dessert is no longer legal?" she read out.

Tapping her index finger against her pursed lips she thought for only a moment before answering. "Brownies."

"Defend."

"Dogs use their intelligence, cuddliness and literacy to develop a spy network that secretly controls many of the world's political systems. Since chocolate is akin to poison for dogs it becomes a controlled substance, making brownies a black market commodity."

"Correct." Sheldon beamed at her.

"Of course I am," she replied cheekily. She could give as good as she got. But that last answer sealed it in her mind. She had to know. "Ok Sheldon, what's up with the questions tonight?"

"Whatever do you mean?" he looked at her coyly.

"I'm sensing a theme. So far all your Counterfactuals questions have had answers related to our relationship."

"Really?" he looked her with wide-eyed innocence.

Amy smirked at him and begin enumerating the correct responses on her fingers: "Zoos, a tiara, dancing, cardigans, Napa Valley, New Years Eve, cats and now brownies," she finished raising her eyebrow at him in challenge.

"Hmm, well, maybe I was feeling a bit...nostalgic when I made your cards," he admitted, smiling at her.

"Sheldon Lee Cooper, you big hippy!" she giggled, scooting over to him and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Ok, ok, there will be plenty of time for that later, little lady, let's finish up the game," he said, extricating himself from her grasp.

"We can finish it later…" she gave him a sultry look, reaching for him again.

"Now, now, you of all people know how much I value closure. There is only one card left for each of us…"

"Fine," she sat back, sighing. This was a rare thing these days, Sheldon putting her off when she wanted to make love. Ever since their first time two months ago it had become his favorite activity. "Can you make me a new cup of tea first, please?"

"Sure. But come to the kitchen with me, I don't want you peeking at the cards."

Amy laughed at him, "It's not like Counterfactuals is timed, but ok. Admit it, you just want me by your side, don't you?" she winked at him.

"You have no idea," he said tenderly, rising from the couch and pulling her into his arms for a quick kiss.

"Tea." She said.

"Yes, tea."

Amy sat on the stool watching him put the kettle on and pull down the tea box. Fortunately, she didn't notice his hands shaking as he opened the lid, offering her the box to make her selection. They chatted about their plans for the rest of their weekend while the tea steeped.

"I still need to get back over to my old apartment and finish cleaning it before I hand in the keys on Wednesday. Should we try to do that tomorrow afternoon, or maybe Monday evening?" Amy asked him. They had finished moving the last of her possessions into 4A the night before, and the donation truck had collected the things she was getting rid of from Glendale that morning. They had spent the day sorting and organizing, combining the last of their things into **their apartment**. After a nice quiet dinner alone in **their apartment** – _their apartment_ Amy thought again happily – they were settled onto the couch with tea and a new round of their favorite game. The day could not get any better.

"Let's do it Monday night. I have plans for you tomorrow evening." Sheldon stated.

"Oh really, Dr. Cooper?" Amy raised her eyebrows at him.

 _Mmmm, he loved that look._ "No, not **that** " he chuckled. "Well, ok, maybe **that** too, but no, I have **other** plans for us tomorrow night."

"Really?" she looked at him, surprised. He didn't usually make plans for them on his own. "What are we doing?"

"You'll have to wait and see," was all he would say.

They removed their teabags and took their cups back to the couch to finish their game. Sheldon, as it turned out, did **not** give the answer Amy had anticipated to her last question for him, and a protracted debate ensued about whose answer was the better one. They were the only two people in the world who could have possibly argued so passionately over who would have written Lord of the Rings if the Franklin Stove were never invented.

That issue finally resolved (though if you asked both parties who won the debate you might get 2 different answers..), Amy moved on to her last question from Sheldon.

"So, since they've all been about our relationship tonight, should I guess before I read it? Koalas? Raggedy C-3PO? Cookies?" she smiled at him expecting him to join her, before realizing that he looked…well, she wasn't sure what he looked. _Upset? No. Sick? Not quite. Nervous? Maybe. Yes, definitely on edge._

She looked at him quizzically, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes. "Sheldon, are you alright?"

"What? Yes, of course," he replied hastily, biting his lip. "Why?"

"You look, well, a little off. Do you feel ok?"

"I'm fine," he nodded. "Just a little antsy, maybe I shouldn't have had Red Zinger tea so late in the evening, I should really know better." He offered her a genuine smile, suddenly looking more himself.

"What have I told you about caffeine after 7pm? Now you'll be up half the night," she admonished him gently.

"Oh, I'm counting on it," came the reply.

"Hoo...ok, let's wrap this up!" She reached for the last card, fanning herself with it before reading.

"In a world where Sheldon Cooper never met Amy Farrah Fowler," she looked up at him, grinning. "See? Hippy." she whispered to him teasingly, rolling her eyes in exaggerated manner, before starting again.

"In a world where Sheldon Cooper never met Amy Farrah Fowler, what would he be doing right now instead of…" her voice faltered… "instead of proposing to the love of his life?" Her eyes shot up to meet his. He slipped out of his spot then, and there he was, kneeling before her on the carpet, holding a small black box with the most exquisite antique-looking ring she had ever seen.

Her eyes searched his face. She wanted this. But she had to be sure he wanted this, too. They had been through so much, nearly losing each other for good. It had been three wonderful months since then and she wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of their lives together. She had thought them moving in together was the most amazing thing that could happen, but this…"Oh Sheldon…really?" she whispered.

"Yes Amy, really. I meant it when I said I wanted to live with you, wanted to sleep beside you every night and wake up with you every morning, but it's not enough. I don't want to live with my girlfriend, I want to live with my wife. I love you. Marry me, Amy, please."

"You're not afraid it's too soon?" This would be her last question. She knew she would say yes.

"Oh Amy…" She was always thinking of him, always wanting to make sure he was ok. He wanted her to know. "I've wanted this for so long. I've been waiting a year to put this ring on your finger. It's not too soon."

Had her ears deceived her? Did he just say he's been waiting a year to do this? Her brain quickly calculated. _That would mean…no…he had had the ring before… and then the whole time they…and then he…oh Sheldon._ She flew off the sofa and into his arms, landing them both on the floor. "Yes, Sheldon, yes! Of course I'll marry you!" She kissed him soundly on the mouth before pulling back to let him put the ring on her finger. It was perfect. It looked like it belonged there, just like he knew it would. _Because of course, it did belong there._

They picked themselves up and settled back on the couch. Amy could not stop staring at her ring or her handsome fiancé. _Fiancé, he's my fiancé_ , she sighed in amazement. _Sheldon Cooper is my fiancé!_ "Oh my goodness," she gushed happily. "I have to tell my mother! I have to tell Penny and Bernadette! We have to tell your mother! Oh no, does your mother still not approve of me?" The words came out nearly too fast to keep up with.

Sheldon smiled at her, pulling her close. "Amy, my mother is beside herself with joy, don't you worry! As for everyone else, that can wait until tomorrow. That's what we're doing tomorrow night. Everyone is coming over for dinner and we'll announce our engagement then. Raj already knows, and he promised he'd make it special for you, a surprise engagement party. Tonight, however, you're all mine."

"Sheldon, you really thought of everything!" Amy was amazed.

"Well, you know how I feel about preparedness. And you've waited more than long enough for this, for me. I want you to have everything you want."

"Well, Cuddles, right now I want my fiancé," she purred pulling him toward the hall and **their** room.

"Mmmm, fiancé. I love the sound of that," Sheldon mused. _She's my fiancée, too. Wow._ "But first, you still have a question to answer." He gestured toward the last Counterfactuals card, abandoned on the coffee table.

"Oh," she said, amused. "Hmmm, what would you be doing right now if we had never met, right? Hmmm, what would you be doing…" she looked thoughtful.

"Well, it's sort of a trick question," he offered.

"Really? A trick question in Counterfactuals? How so?" Amy was still trying to think of a reasonable, defensible answer.

Sheldon grabbed her hands this time, walking backwards, leading her toward their room, their bed. "The answer is it doesn't matter; nothing would matter in Sheldon Cooper's life without you, Amy Farrah Fowler."

 **THE END**

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 **Author's Note:** Thank you again so much for your support through this whole story, plus my others. I'm so thankful for each and every review and so enjoy hearing what you think. I've been writing for such a short time, only 7 weeks total since my first story went up (crazy!) and you guys have made them so much fun! I'm happy to be part of such a great community!


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